just a passing thought

Having too many choices will spoil a person. too much of a good thing you know?
Its good that nowadays we get to make our own choices on things. For example, the brand of shampoo, scent of shampoo, types of shampoo, price of shampoo just to name a few.
But it makes us a bit ungrateful and unappreciative of the things we have.
Everything we have right now we take for granted because we have never been without.

Would a person who nearly died of thirst ever take water for granted?

The thing is, having all the choices laid out in front of me made me very unhappy with the current choice i made, and future ones i will make.
I am unhappy that i chose what i'm doing now. I am unhappy that i chose to make my parents happy(which, come to think of it, might not be the case) while making myself unhappy. I am unhappy that i chose text book over nature, I am unhappy i chose money over adventure.
But who am I to be unhappy with this? There is a world out there where people do not even stand a chance for having a text book, let alone a choice to chose away with it.

We should look at what people lack and be grateful for things we have.

So what happens when there are no more less fortunate people? when one day, there ar no longer famine, war, drought etc etc.
Who then do we look for to feel grateful of what we have?

Will mankind finally be satisfied with what we have? Or is men always greedy?
Greed may be considered a sin, but it is with the desire to want something more, to want something better that keeps men going and improving, no?

...or so i thought

I have been wrong on many occasions. but never have I been more wrong about myself.

I always thought of myself as a nice and friendly person, but I am proven wrong. I realised I do not feel comfortable or have the need to approach new people and talk to them. Also, I also feel extremely shy around people, and as time goes by I no longer know what to say to strangers or people I am not so close with. And of course, I am beginning to not speak to people i used to be close with.

Besides that, I also thought myself to be a kind hearted person who would do anything to help those in need. Once again I am wrong. Once I saw a cat hurt on the road while i was driving. I've always thought when in such situations I would stop and help the cat to a vet or something. But I did not. I did what everybody did. I turned the other cheek and carried on driving.
And that is just one of such occasions that I feel least ashamed of pouring out.

I have always loved the idea of being in love, and the idea of love itself. I love love stories. I always thought i would be the person who would know what love is at first sight and that i would throw everything away for love. But right now i have no idea what love is or whether i have encountered it or not. I am starting to get the feeling I might marry just for convenience's sake and just to have a companion. That used to be a horrible thought and to think now I am going to have to be sucked in to this and not know what to do about it.

I also thought I would stay young and optimistic and enthusiastic forever, but look at this, a few years later I'm turning into a monotonous, boring and bored of life, bleak, pessimistic, unenthusiastic, weary of life and the people in mine. I seemed to have lost my spirit after going to this University called Nottingham and going to this company called Fairchild. I feel like for the first time in my life I have seen what people are really like, and how people can be like. And what I can be like. horrifying.

Note, i never thought of myself as a narcissistic person or self-absorbed, but I'm starting to feel that I am. Just look at how I'm going on about myself and that's the proof.

just in case...

just in case anyone's interested.... i'd really love an amazon kindle, regardless the type.

change

barrack obama's famous quote, other than the "Yes we can", is "change we can believe in".

Change doesn't always mean good things. Change can be for the better, but like everything else in the world, it goes both ways. Isn't it weird that everything in this world we live in always have good and bad sides? and i mean always. But i'll discuss that in another post.

Here's what i thought of while driving to work today( yeah it gets boring if you use the same route five days a week for 7weeks already), and i always thought about the environment since i like driving with my window winded down so i can enjoy the morning's cool breeze and fresh air. which i might add that always become horrible after i exit sungai ara, all the cars and busses and lorries you know. also, i realize how stupid (and selfish) penangites are, me included. almost every car i see has only one occupant, the freakin' driver. And they almost always come from the same source(housing areas) to the same end point the FIZs. SO WHY NOT CARPOOL?!?!? i been asking myself this same question over and over again, and the only lame excuse i been able to come up with is.. 'cuz i wanna leave a little later and come home a little earlier. but the silly thing is there are a lot of people working in the same company as me, and live around the area i live in, arrive and leave around the same time like me. SO WHY NOT????? the answer is, i don't know :( pathetic stupid hypocrite i am.

anyway i'm getting out of topic. the environment,yes. I was thinking, there's always these messages that urge people not to resist change, the only thing that will never change is change, and all the bull's crap. But at the same time, everyone is resisting the change our earth, our environment is experiencing. If change is unavoidable and necessary, why not just let it be and embrace it?

the global temperature is rising, the icebergs are melting, the ozone layer is thinning, animals becoming extinct, deforestation(ok that can be stopped but assholes just won't leave forests alone, can they?).

and yet, we just can't help it can we? we HAVE to stop the environment from changing. we change our ways to stop the environment from changing. eh?

age

the earth is around 4.54 billion years old.
the borneo rainforest is 130 million year old.
the amazon rainforest is ten million years old.
humans have only been around the earth for 200 000 years.

谢谢你的包容

很熟悉吧这句话

你对她说过，现在是我对你说了。很笨！

可是我是真心要跟你讲的。。我知道我是很烦，很难相处的人，我也很惊奇你竟然能忍这么久。我知道人的容忍度是有极限的，我也有试图不要这么烦人，可是没办法我就是这样，就因为这样所以我很怕你总有一天会发现我是一个没有用的人，不想在我身上浪费时间了。

没想到这一天，已经近在眼前，我知道的，我不笨。我也不怨你，你给我的已经超出我要的，谢谢你。

to those city people who are always so complicated.. I cannot understand you, and i am not interested in knowing the dark abyss of your mind.
i cannot believe there is such people, let alone so many!
Being with such people is so tiring..
they only talk to you and pretend to be friendly when they need you, and other times, they won't even look you in the eye. And worse, when you actually need help, lo and behold, they will go at any lengths to ignore you. Sometimes even treat you as invisible when you talk to them.

Its irritating, and i feel irritated at myself for not spotting them earlier. But how was i supposed to know? from where I came from, there is no such people.. and here, they're everywhere.