more lessons learned

its been a month and half since i been here.
here, i learned more than i have learned in the past 9months.

i have to learn to think differently. i have to change the way i think. the way i think, is very straight forward. to me, everything is either 1 or 0. there's no in between.
now i'm trying to accept that, just because a person isnt nice doesnt make him/her a bad person..
just because a person is wrong doesn't mean he/she isnt right..
not everything is right or wrong, true or false, yes or no...


i also experience what deadpan means. i'm not gonna elaborate on that. its a long story so.....

anyways, what i'm really feeling now is scared.
all my life, i'm around fun-loving people.. now i'm surrounded by serious people, whom i can't really understand.i don't understand because i've never been around people like that. i have never experienced being with people like that. it's a huge change for me.

all i hope is, i dont lose myself in the process of accepting these new group of people.
i hope i will still be the girl i am now. i hope i will still be able to laugh at everything including myself. i hope i can still be energetic and silly and weird and sometimes abit scary and doesnt make sense to anyone at all. because that's what makes me, me. if i'm not those, then i cant be yingyun anymore.